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A Christmas Eve exclusive with Mrs. Claus

NORTH POLE — As the hours tick down toward departure time for her husband’s annual trip around the world, Mrs. Claus took time out from her busy schedule to talk about her relationship with Santa and life at the North Pole. This is an interview exclusive to the Daily Globe.

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QUESTION: How did you meet Santa?

MRS. CLAUS: It’s a bit embarrassing, but I answered his ad in the North Pole personals. That was well before online dating, you know. I was working as a secretary in the candy cane factory at the time, and there just weren’t that many eligible bachelors to choose from at the North Pole.

QUESTION: Was it love at first sight?

MRS. CLAUS: You betcha. I’ve always had a thing for guys with that ‘bowl full of jelly’ look.

QUESTION: Where did you go on your first date?

MRS. CLAUS: It was really quite sweet. He packed a picnic —cookies and milk, of course — and we went for a reindeer ride through the countryside. It was summer at the time, and the sun doesn’t set up here that time of year, so we stayed out until the wee hours, just talking. I knew right away that Nicky — that’s what I call him —was the one for me.

QUESTION: What does he call you?

MRS. CLAUS: My first name is Philomena, but Nicky and my close friends call me Minnie. I also answer to Dear and Honey. But the elves and the reindeer and children around the world all just know me as Mrs. Claus because Nicky insists they give me proper respect.

QUESTION: Did you know Santa was famous when you met him?

MRS. CLAUS: I had no idea, although I realized he was someone special right away. It took him a while to trust me enough to share all his secrets. I knew I had won his heart when he introduced me to the elves as his girlfriend. We got married shortly after that.

QUESTION: Do you have problems with the paparazzi?

MRS. CLAUS: No, we stick pretty close to home most of the year, except for the couple of weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas when we make all those personal appearances. During that time, we understand that getting your picture taken comes with the job.

QUESTION: We know that the elves make the toys, and Santa oversees the process and delivers them —do you have a specific role in the Christmas process?

MRS. CLAUS: Oh my, yes. My official title is Chief Morale Officer of Claus Enterprises LLC. That mostly involves providing lots of hot chocolate and cookies as we get closer to the big day so they can keep up their energy levels. But I also oversee the packing of the sleigh. Nicky has just never gotten the hang of packing a suitcase when we go on vacation, let alone the millions of toys that have to fit into that sled. I make a list of what has to go where, and, of course, I check it over twice.

QUESTION: Speaking of lists, do you have any influence over Santa when it comes to the naughty and nice lists?

MRS. CLAUS: Shortly after we got married, I convinced Nicky to do away with those lists. I just don’t like labeling children that way. Being labeled as naughty can stick with a child for the rest of his or her life. But Nicky likes to keep up the pretense, just so the kiddies are on their best behavior during the Christmas season.

QUESTION: What about the reindeer? Do you have any interaction with them?

MRS. CLAUS: The stable is really Nicky’s domain, and there are a couple elves who help with all the chores out there. Once in a while I’ll venture out to have a little chat with Dancer and Vixen —they always seem to know the latest North Pole gossip. And I always bring a baby gift out when one of the girls is expecting. Rudolph and Clarice are going to be parents in a couple of weeks, so after Christmas I guess I’ll have to go do some shopping.

QUESTION: What else do you have planned for after Christmas?

MRS. CLAUS: The whole workshop shuts down for a month after the deliveries are all made. Nicky will take a long power nap —it usually takes him two days of snoring to recover from the journey. Then we’ll take a trip to somewhere warm. We’re kind of partial to cruises. Nicky likes the buffets —especially the midnight one with the chocolate fountain — and I like to sit by the pool and read a book. We also enjoy the shows, and it’s easy for us to fit in on a senior cruise. When we’re on vacation, we’re just Nick and Minnie —a retired couple from up north.

QUESTION: Any last thoughts before we let you get back to your pre-Christmas countdown?

MRS. CLAUS: I would just like to wish all your readers a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Santa and I hope all your Christmas wishes come true.