Column: Buddies make Favre cry 'uncle'
Pretty please. Pretty please with sugar on top. Please come back to Winter Park with us, Brett.
Can't you just hear a trio of grown men - football players no less - begging Brett Favre to return to the Minnesota Vikings for one more shot at the coveted Super Bowl?
Nothing should surprise us anymore when it comes to Brett Favre and his melodramatic methods of garnering attention.
It shouldn't have surprised any of us that Viking teammates and close friends Ryan Longwell, Steven Hutchinson and Jared Allen were flown down to Mississippi in a private jet to sweet-talk Favre into coming back.
Can't you just hear Hutchinson, a 6-foot-5, 315-pound offensive lineman, pleading his case? "Pretty please, pretty please, Brett. I will make sure your precious ankle doesn't get banged up again."
Or how about the crazy-talking Allen telling Favre the locker room won't be the same without his butt-slapping song, "Pants on the Ground."
Longwell, the kicker, is supposedly the closest buddy - a friendship that began while both played in Green Bay. "Wouldn't it be great to whip those Packers again Brett 'ol buddy?"
Maybe, just maybe, the trio walked into Favre's Hattiesburg, Miss., mansion in full uniform and monkey-piled their beloved quarterback. And for good measure, Longwell gave him a noogie on his fuzzy-cut head, Allen gave him a wet willy and Hutchinson gave him a hinder binder.
Can't you just hear Favre laughing at the bottom of that pile.
"Uncle, uncle ... I give, I give. Enough already you knuckleheads. I'll come back. I was always going to come back."
Yes, folks, Brett Favre was always going to come back.
It was almost one year ago to the day when Favre boarded a private plane from Hattiesburg and arrived in Minnesota - after he told everyone he wasn't going to play. So were any of us really surprised when Favre did the same thing on Tuesday?
Now everything is hunky-dory in Vikingland.
Viking receivers are smiling - prompting Bernard Berrian to tweet: "Brett Favre for President."
Viking fans are smiling - preventing any rage for Sage or being embarrassed by Tarvaris.
NFL fantasy geeks are smiling - at least the ones who "went out on a limb" and picked Favre when he was still slinging passes at teenage players in Hattiesburg.
Even your typical housewives - who could care less about watching football - are smiling about watching Favre perform his 41-year-old magic again.
Favre certainly has that charm - enough to lure a trio of football dudes to come begging. Enough to build up expectations that may be too grand.
Pretty please, Brett ... just don't throw away another shot at a Super Bowl.
Readers can reach Forum Sports Editor Kevin Schnepf at (701) 241-5549 or at email@example.com