Letter: Being 'fat' is more than a stereotype

Talk about it

There are so many important issues to write about today. Iran’s antics, the Republican candidates, how to fix teachers and the mild winter (great for us who have 800-foot driveways) — but bad for farmers who would like to see some moisture. These are all important issues that I could write volumes on (and would be excellent for putting people to sleep). However, I am going to put them on the back burner and write about something else — fat people!

I know that calling anyone fat is just horrible, and also not PC! I should call them lipid-enhanced or big-boned, or — as a former Worthington wrestling coach referred to me — “carries your weight well”. All of us “large people” struggle with our weight for one reason or another: lack of exercise, poor eating habits, overeating, slow metabolism, etc. I can claim “all of the above.”

Nonetheless, I am tired of being stereotyped as fat. Just like racism, ageism and sexism, there is a bias towards us fatties. I’m sick and tired of it! To make us feel better, I (using Bert Blyleven’s phraseology) am hereby designating April as “Fat History Month.” I picked April because it has “Fat Tuesday” just before Lent. We — or maybe just I — will celebrate all the accomplishments of the great fat people in the world and our country.

I tried hard to find some fat people from prehistoric times. I assume it is difficult to tell the body fat percentage of people from their fossils, but I can imagine Cro-Magnon man was trim from outrunning large fauna. Roman Emperor Nero is the first fat historical figure I can think of. He is the epitome of the fall of the Roman Empire. The only ancient religious leader that is overweight is Buddha. This is totally unfair, as Buddha was an Aryan man who was born in India and was not fat! He must have gained weight later in life. He is greatly loved, as two billion Buddhists agree. I cannot for the life of me think of any great Jewish, Christian, Islamic, Confucian or Hindi that were fat.

Fat people who are successful are well known and loved by many. The great British Leader Winston Churchill did not miss many meals. William Howard Taft was over three bills, but Bill Clinton was just “chubby” so he does not qualify. All offensive linemen today are over 300 lbs., with much of that muscle. Most sumo wrestlers are big boys, and loved by Japanese and Hawaiians. David Wells was fat and drunk when he pitched a no-hitter against the Twins. Look at CC Sabathia. I’m sure his feelings are hurt when he’s called fat — all the way to the bank! Billy Kilmer was asked by a reporter about his beer belly. His reply: “I don’t throw the ball with my stomach.” Kilmer had a sense of humor. All fat people are happy, funny people, as the stereotype says. I’m happy most of the time. John Candy, Chris Farley and Louis Anderson are/were all funny, fat comedians.

I’m sure I missed many famous fat people, but I promised coach I’d keep my ramblings short. In closing, respect people who are big boned. We can tell when people are condescending and biased like any other minority.

Tags: opinion, letters