ELON, North Carolina -- My favorite bumper sticker I've never seen: Commas matter. So I've always thought, and do still believe with the passion of one whose knuckles were rapped for grammatical errors. I mean this only metaphorically -- no bloody fingers -- but using incorrect grammar was the Eighth Deadly Sin in my childhood home. How grateful I am that this was so.
WASHINGTON -- Only in the strangest-ever presidential election could a former beauty queen's weight be considered a deal-breaking issue of, if I may, gargantuan proportions. Pretend it's two weeks ago: Who is Alicia Machado? Now: How happy is Alicia Machado? If I weren't paid by the word, I'd be speechless.
WASHINGTON -- My heart went out to Donald Trump Monday night when it appeared that he was under the weather. What could be worse than to be sick, sniffling through his first presidential debate just days after he was challenging Hillary Clinton's health and, during the debate, taunting her lack of stamina. Trump's own stamina was not, shall we say, in abundance Monday. Weary-eyed and gulping water, he looked as though he might fall asleep were it not for the lectern's support.
WASHINGTON -- As the first presidential debate approaches, fists clench, jaws tighten and invectives giggle in anticipation. Game on!
WASHINGTON -- At long last, Donald Trump has set himself free. At a highly choreographed event Friday, the Republican candidate for president of the United States finally issued his verdict on the birthright of our two-term president, who, it turns out, is a real American! "Barack Obama was born in the United States, period," Trump intoned to the great relief of no one.
WASHINGTON -- She didn't want to say she was sick. Hillary Clinton, that is, who recently has suffered coughing fits followed Sunday by a near collapse during New York's 9/11 memorial ceremony. She left the ceremony early, claiming over-heatedness, and appeared to weave, lose her footing and pitch forward as she approached her car, as captured on a mobile phone video.
WASHINGTON -- America has had better weeks than the one just past. Only days away from the 15th anniversary of the 9/11 terrorist attacks, the Democratic and Republican presidential candidates...
WASHINGTON -- The animal kingdom will have lost one of its staunchest defenders when the Oval Office is abandoned by Barack Obama, who through a series of critical, administrative rulemakings has done more to protect animals than any other president in recent memory.
WASHINGTON -- When Donald Trump says he has a great relationship with "the Blacks," I wonder if he also gets along well with the Smiths. We know he's tight with the Whites. But what's with the definite article?
WASHINGTON -- Donald Trump. Would that it were unnecessary to mention his name except, say, as a Viagra pitchman. Despite such casting perfection, this isn't intended as a personal metaphor for the man, though it is for the GOP. Cue sound of balloon losing vigor. The erstwhile party of Lincoln has rendered itself impotent by its clammy-handed embrace of the sad clown who made everybody laugh -- for a while.