Life can be a 'Dickens' of a time
WORTHINGTON -- "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times." This quotation of Charles Dickens has applied its truth to nearly every situation in nearly every era of time. The situation at hand concerns the opening of sealed foods and pr...
WORTHINGTON -- "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times." This quotation of Charles Dickens has applied its truth to nearly every situation in nearly every era of time. The situation at hand concerns the opening of sealed foods and products. You know, the worst situation of the best product or the best of the worst.
Some 70 years ago, the Ho-Boys -- or simply the Hobos -- survived by making their own hobo soup from fresh garden veggies. They never knew the frustration of trying to open a new can of Campbell's Soup in the year of 2010.
Now picture me trying to open a can of soup today. First, I need to find a screwdriver to pry up the metal ring. Then, while holding the tab up with one hand, the right hand must use the pliers to grab the tab and try to roll the lid off.
"Hello, why did I just buy a new can opener?" Worst of time!
Enough already. I am now moving the drawer of kitchen tools to the silverware drawer and vice-versa. You know, every best-of-times product needs help!
Finally, the soup is on and the crackers out. Now for a glass of milk. During the best years we simply removed the tiny, white cardboard lid off the glass bottle of milk (which, by the way, was delivered). Now the race is on to get the plastic lid off that has little plastic teeth that are welded in place. Quick, I need a paring knife, or a rag, or a hammer -- or I need help. All this leaves me puzzle-headed!
Please, let me tell you about the Kraft mayonnaise experience.In order of getting to the best product, one must first remove a tiny yellow sticker that seals the blue plastic lid. The blue lid can only be loosened by using a strong, but thin, knife blade, or better yet a putty knife. Now is the problem! Next we see a strong, shiny foil that has surely been sealed on with gorilla glue or some sort of cement. Thank goodness the foil has a tab on it for my pliers to grab. This operation now begins by laying the mayo jar on its side on the counter and holding securely with the left hand. The pliers held in my right hand have a good strong grip on the foil tab. So here we go -- pull, hold, pull, hold, pull, slip, slide, crash, smash spill! Yes, the foil lid came off as the jar slid off the counter. In shock, I hated to look. You betcha -- the mayo was all over the cupboards, the fridge, the chair and the .floor. That Little Red Hen inside of me said I must do it myself ... and I did!
Let me tell you, I had a Dickens of a time!
P.S. You may ask: What about pickle jars and the push-down- and-turn medicine bottle lids. Well, I've learned not to even try. We simply give them to a man and watch him have the best time!
Nancy Zuehlke is a Worthington resident.