Doug Wolter: It's sad when ping pong trick shots are the highlight of your week
The irony of being cooped up at home without professional sports is that, just when Internet sports sites have so little to offer, I’m searching them more and more to assuage my boredom quotient.
So I went to ESPN online, and on the right side of the home page under “trending,” a video showed a middle-aged woman and (I assume) her son trying out a trick shot with a ping pong ball. It was actually quite interesting. After several tries, they were able to bounce the ball off four strategically-placed pots and into a plastic cup.
The crowd went wild.
It is sad, but that little video has been the highlight of my week.
What else, you ask, are the sports sites doing to keep fans entertained? Well, also on ESPN online, Detroit Lions wide receiver Danny Amendola catches footballs from a JUGS machine one-handed. And another spot shows Cleveland wideout Odell Beckham launching a football the full length of a tennis court and through a basketball hoop.
Here comes the yawn. Isn’t every NFL wide receiver able to catch footballs one-handed these days? And, really, given enough attempts, people who are able to make long throws through a hoop are a dime a dozen. I give the ping pong video five stars, however, just for the creativity of it.
Many of us are playing more video games. Me too. My game of choice seems to be MLB The Show 16, and it really is a fantastic game. Beautifully rendered, fun, and realistic. If there’s a better sports game out there, I don’t know what it is. And it makes me feel like ranking the best sports games on Playstation 3, which is what I have.
Well, why not? Ranking things is very popular on the Internet sites. ESPN is now ranking the greatest NBA dynasties of all time. The Sporting News is ranking the 11 worst sets of Junk Wax Era baseball cards (that’s between the years of 1987 and 1993, if you care), and it’s also ranking the best and worst NFL uniforms.
The Vikings rank 23rd, by the way. But I’m taking the uniform rankings with a grain of salt because they call the Cincinnati Bengals helmets “awesome.” Awesomely tacky, if you ask me.
Wait. You want me to rate the best sports games on Playstation 3? Well, OK. I start with MLB The Show 16, then it’s Madden 17, NCAA Football 13, Tiger Woods PGA Tour 13 (Masters Edition) and MLB 2K13 to round out the top five.
So. What else rises to mildly interesting on the sports websites?
Oh, I see on ESPN that Vikings quarterback Kirk Cousins says football games without fans sounds “refreshing.” Well, I don’t doubt that he’d find it refreshing. He wouldn’t have to listen to himself being booed.
On Sports Illustrated, it asks who should be FOX’s new No. 2 NFL game analysts. Should I care?
I see that on SBNation they’re asking who is the best NBA team never to have won a championship. Here’s a hint: It’s not the Timberwolves.
On the same site, they’re explaining how to play fetch with your dog if you have no energy. And they say they can match your horoscope with the WNBA team you should play for if you had any talent.
If you’re an Aries, you would be a perfect fit for the Minnesota Lynx because you’re strong, physical and assertive. The downside (and there’s always a downside) is that you tend toward selfishness, so work on your passing.